Reflective essays – Christine Bothma

ERKENNE DICH SELBST!!!

This german phrase whose translation reads “know yourself” or “recognise yourself” encompasses what I now understand ‘reflection’ to be. I ‘pooh-poohed’ the repetitive admonishment to reflect about this and that during the course of the year. I felt that the emphasis on introspection was an unhealthy pastime and that it was a symptom of psychology’s preoccupation with ‘touchy-feely’ subjects. I justified my aversion to reflection by drawing parallels with my MS and the unshakeable belief I have that the only reason I have coped so well with my MS over the 30 odd years I have been living with it, is because I do not constantly dwell on it. It rears its ugly head at times, but by acknowledging it constantly through reflection, I felt that I would have been giving it undue power and draining myself in the process. Thus, reflection was something I entered into kicking and screaming.

During the year, there were several events that particularly drew my attention or that I felt very strongly about, and in typical Christine fashion, I wrote down my thoughts only realising now, at the end of the year, that I was being reflective despite my considered opinion that the reflection we were continually reminded to make, and which I often disagreed with, was already being done in my own way!

See also the articles I wrote for the M&D newsletter.